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And Fall, with her yeller harvest moon and the hills growin' brown and golden under a sinkin' sun.
~ Roy Bean
TIME: 6:00 PM
PLACE: Podunk Illinois
SUBJECT: Harvest
Most of the feed corn has been harvested, but this still stands.
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Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired.
~ Mae West
TIME: 6:00 PM
PLACE: Church
SUBJECT: Line
We try to corral the 350+ kids who attend the middle school youth group on Wednesday nights into nice, neat lines with these shiny stanchions.
It doesn't work ...
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I could not, would not, in a house.
I would not, could not, with a mouse.
I would not eat them with a fox.
I would not eat them in a box.
I would not eat them here or there.
I would not eat them anywhere.
I would not eat green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
~ Dr. Seuss
TIME: 6:00 PM
PLACE: Home Sweet Home
SUBJECT: Eggs
I've started getting our eggs from a local farmer. There are times when I love Podunk! An old pie safe sits at the end of the driveway. Each morning the farmer fills it with eggs in recycled egg cartons, and a coffee can full of $1 bills. You take what you want and leave $2/dozen.
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I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.
~ Billy Connolly
TIME: 8:30 AM
PLACE: Cubicle Hell Parking Lot
SUBJECT: Parking
I don't have a parking angel, but I do have a reserved parking spot at work. This past weekend they resurfaced and repainted the lot.
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It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.
~ Roseanne Barr
TIME: 9:00 AM
PLACE: Home Sweet Home
SUBJECT: Diet
I did something I've never done before. Something I know better than to do. Something, thank goodness, that will only cost me the shipping charges and not the $200 + it could have cost me.
What was I thinking??
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“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
~ George Carlin
TIME: 9:30 AM
PLACE: Podunk Illinois
SUBJECT: Gas
Who knew there were so many rules involved in filling your gas tank?
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“They only babble who practice not reflection.”
~ Edward Young
TIME: 7:00 PM
PLACE: Podunk v2
SUBJECT: Reflection
You never know what you might find in a trinket machine ...
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